December 24, 2008 @8:00 am
Bad Word Pairs #025
“Pulled Pork”
I know, I know. You’re saying to yourself: “How dare he slander such a delicious treat?” Well the deliciousness itself only heightens my disdain. While I love a couple carnitas tacos on occasion, I simply can’t shake the brutish imagery of pulled pork.
Pork as a word has always been suspect in my book to begin with, especially when you have such a heavenly term like “bacon” coming from the same animal. But pulled pork, what the heck are they pulling on?
Okay, I admit, I understand the concept of slow-roasting the meat until it’s so tender it can be pulled off the bone into delectable strands of yumminess, but could we have found another term? The Italians call it porchetta, and that sounds just about as delicious as bacon.
Mmm. Pulled pork. Mmmmmmmmm.
December 22, 2008 @11:25 am
Quote of the Week #028
“Ideas are like sparrows: they dart down the hall, the chimney and out of the spout, down a wormhole and back out my mouth.” -Fionn Regan
@8:00 am
Top 5 Christmas Songs
(HOLIDAY TRAGEDIES)
5. “I’m Gettin’ Nuttin’ for Christmas” by Barry Gordon
Normally a bratty kid would deserve coal in his stocking without further thought. But I can’t help but hear undertones of parental neglect, thus leading to a child’s need to act out, running beneath the playful lyrics. I feel for him, I know that pain.
4. “Snow Angel” by Over the Rhine
A song about a woman whose lover falls onto the snow and dies. A Merry Christmas indeed. The singer, Karin Bergquist, told me she had to record it in pieces, from the end to the beginning, because she kept breaking down. You can blame her husband Linford for that one.
3. “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” by George Rock
On the surface, this song doesn’t sound that tragic. But when you think about it for a minute, it’s sad, because you and I both know this kid isn’t getting his teeth in time for the holidays.
2. “Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis” by Tom Waits
So sad you want to laugh, this love letter from a (you guessed it) hooker in Minneapolis, to a guy named Charlie, is tragic indeed. She bares her soul to this man, but can’t even keep half of her lies straight. Turns out she just wants some money. Go figure.
1. “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer” by Dr. Elmo
It’s bad enough grandma got drunk and then got trampled by a reindeer, but grandpa watching football on the couch as if nothing even happened? Man that’s cold. The ultimate tragedy, presented in a darkly comedic format.
