Archive for the ‘Why Nots’ Category

July 1, 2008 @10:59 pm

Why Haven’t You Bought Me This?

(”THE DEEP” BY CLAIRE NOUVIAN)

Just look at the following images from the book “The Deep,” and you’ll see what might be the most beautiful and terrifying photographs taken of the deep sea, like ever (sorry Blue Planet). I need to get this book, and soon.

Fanfin Seadevil

Unidentified Species

Scaly Dragonfish

Johnson Sea Link-1





June 26, 2008 @1:18 am

Why Haven’t You Listened to This?

(JESCA HOOP’S “KISMET”)

I went to see Martha Wainwright at the Troubadour, and Jesca Hoop was the opening act. She played part of her set solo (just her voice and her guitar), and part of her set with two harmony singers (there were a couple of those songs where her friends the Ditty Bops came up to lend their voices as well).

Needless to say, Jesca was a standout for me (though Wainwright was also very good). I looked her up and found out one of her songs was highly requested on KCRW (not surprising), and also found some other tidbits (she was a nanny for Tom Waits, but not before being raised a strict Mormon, where MTV was banned and such and such).

I grabbed her album that night, and I’ve been playing it quite a bit. She reminds me of a weird blend of Fiona Apple, Kate Bush, and Nina Persson from The Cardigans. But it’s easier to listen to her music than to trust my vocal concoction.

Listen to “Seed of Wonder” and “Enemy” for a better reflection of why I’m digging her stuff.





June 20, 2008 @2:21 am

Why Haven’t You Rented This Lately?

(THE THIN RED LINE)

If the above 12 actors aren’t enough reason to go back and check out “Thin Red Line,” the tragically overlooked war movie (maybe one of the best war movies of all time), then at least see it so you can tell your friends you have been watching Terrence Malick films of late, and that you can’t wait until Tree of Life comes out, to see Brad Pitt and Sean Penn search for immortality.

That’ll get them thinking your scholarly!





June 1, 2008 @5:02 pm

Why Can’t I Stop Laughing At This?

(CORN FED VENISON DEBACLE)

Please take five minutes out of your life and read this article. I lost about three pounds from laughter upon first reading, and another two pounds cumulatively in telling others about it. I can’t do this guy’s writing justice, just go and read it, and keep reading, until you reach the end.





May 30, 2008 @11:57 pm

Why Don’t I Own This?

(LIGHTNING ON DEMAND)

Man, it sure would be cool to have one of these giant tesla coils. It would be, like, the best anti-theft mechanism money could buy. Someone tries to break in? I just flip the switch and the coins in that guy’s pocket go molten.





May 21, 2008 @11:33 pm

Why Don’t I Love This?

(BAZ LUHRMANN’S EPIC “AUSTRALIA”)

Baz Luhrmann wrote and directed this upcoming film; Nicole Kidman (usually a solid actress) stars alongside Hugh Jackman; the story feels in parts whimsical, and in others epic. So why am I not thrilled for Australia to come out? Let’s start at the top.

(1) I just had vision of Jackman coming out of a saloon full of banditos and carving a giant ‘C’ on another bandito’s blouse with his retractable metal claws, then proclaiming he is Zorro’s second cousin Carcayú (Wolverine en español).

(2) Man, I hope Josh Hartnett and Kate Beckinsdale don’t have a kissing scene in this movie. It was hard enough watching it happen the first time in Pearl Harbor.

(3) Marcus Aurelius would be proud. So would Ridley Scott. And the dozen or so multi-vitamin commercials that have also used this masterful cinematic hand-grazing-wheat moment.

(4) “There’s a whole ocean of oil under our feet, and no-one can get at it but me!” Oh wait, that was a different movie, with a better actor. Whoops.





May 15, 2008 @10:46 am

Why Haven’t You Listened to This?

(”VIOLET HILL” FROM THE NEW COLDPLAY ALBUM)

The new album is produced with Brian Eno, which Chris Martin says “will be the album I always dreamed we’d make.” If the bulk of the songs are anything like “Violet Hill,” then I will be anxiously awaiting the release.





May 12, 2008 @10:55 pm

Why Haven’t You Watched This?

(BILL O’REILLY GOES NUTS.)

Personally, I like the guy fine, but this clip (presumably from the early 90’s, or whenever it was that he would have had a full mop of hair) of Mr. O’Reilly losing his cool with his newfangled teleprompter was just too classic to pass up.

What I find most interesting is how his anger is channeled into the technology itself more than the person operating it.

Keep your eyes peeled at the very end, after the audio cuts off.

Thanks, Cass. You made my evening.

WARNING: THIS VIDEO CONTAINS PROFANITIES.





May 5, 2008 @3:52 pm

Why Haven’t You Watched This?

(THE NEW DARK KNIGHT TRAILER)

I can’t wait for this film to come out. The latest trailer demonstrates why comic book movies don’t have to carry the stigma of, well, comic book movies.

Seeing Heath Ledger steal the show in some of the shots in this trailer is a bittersweet thing, but the best memorial for him will be for this movie to live up to the hype.

If you haven’t watched it yet, here’s the link to the trailer.





May 2, 2008 @10:52 pm

Why Haven’t You Watched This?

(BATTLE AT KREGER)

If you’re one of the few left on the interweb who have not witnessed this marvel of nature, shame on you. But, if it’s true, you’re in for a treat. This is the video National Geographic wishes it shot first.

For the squeamish, no animals were (really) hurt during the filming of this video. But don’t ask me how that’s even remotely possible.