Liftingfaces

“Candy Corn”

I know it’s Halloween and I hate to be a miser on such a whimsically haunted day, but I have a bone to pick with a popular fall product. Candy Corn, how do you pretend to call yourself a candy, when all you really are is a three-layered piece of wax with some sugar mixed in.

Sure you might look delicious while being pumped out of the machines in your factory (another shameless Unwrapped plug here), but other than giving the appearance of Autumn in a glass bowl on a kitchen table, you are nothing short of gross to this grown-up’s taste buds.

(Confession: I used to like candy corn, but that was when I was twelve, and had no clue about the dozen or so fillings and root canals I was later to undergo. Damn you candy corn!!)