Liftingfaces

(CURRENTLY IN PRODUCTION)

5. Pontiac Aztek

On par with the Honda Element, this stand-outish SUV looks much worse in person. The aphalling rear-hatch looks like someone started crushing this thing in the trash compacter and then changed their minds at the last second. Too bad for us.

 

4. Honda Fit

I have a thing for hatchbacks, I’ll admit it. With the exception of the Audi A3, I pretty much loathe them. But this one takes the notion to a new level of suck. Along with the Pontiac Vibe’s and the Toyota Prius’s of the world, this car proves further that the car exec’s think twenty-something women prefer cars that look like crap.

 

3. PT Cruiser

Possibly the most infamous example of homage gone awry, the PT Cruiser somehow, miraculously, continues to sell. Maybe it’s just me who doesn’t get the irony of reimagining the original Ford Woodie, but man . . .

 

2. Chevy SSR

I don’t know who told the fine folks at Chevy it would be a good idea to take the Dodge Neon and turn it into a mini-truck from a Jetson’s future gone wrong. But they did it anyway, and now we get to watch as these identity-crisis inflicted car/truck things cruise past us. We can’t stand to look, but we can’t look away. Must be the fluorescent colors they paint these monstrosities in.

 

1. Scion xB

I feel the pity for post office workers and milkmen across the nation. Ever since Toyota went ahead with the Scion line of vehicles, they’ve rubber stamped the first-car community as idiots who think aerodynamics is only theoretical. This van/truck/car is the equivalent of what it would look like if you asked your non-artistic friend to draw a car on a piece of paper.