Liftingfaces

(WHO CAN RUIN A FILM JUST BY BEING IN IT)

5. Rosie O’Donnell – She rounds out the top 5 because since A League of their Own, I’ve had no desire to watch any movies with her in them. I think I find her smug delivery a little unbecoming, though admittedly she hasn’t been in many films.

4. Angela Bassett - I know she was in Contact, but man, I can’t even muster up the will power to watch Akeelah and the Bee. I think she kind of epitomizes what I dislike about cultural films (films like Soul Food). She’s sort of like the Diane Keaton of ethnic dramas.

3. Paris Hilton – I’m proud to say I have yet to see a film with Paris Hilton in it, though if I ever DO see one, it will most likely be on accident, or if Kubrick came back from the grave and cast her in his film.

2. Rob Schneider – He’s like a crappy David Spade stand in, and David Spade ALMOST made this top 5 (but I did find Tommy Boy to be funny). That alone should say enough about why Deuce Bigalow is number two on this list.

1. Laura Linney – This one is highly personal and may be controversial (for I hear a lot of people like this overacting woman). I swear, I fast-forwarded through several of her scenes in John Adams, and I would have liked Truman Show more if she weren’t in it. There are highly acclaimed films like The Savages which I have no interest to see because of her inclusion in them. She has two expressions: psychotic sarcastic half smile, and wide-eyed startled sobbing, and I loathe both of them.